Lost Episode: Nemesis Tutorial

So my posts seem to be running a little long, and there's been no real rhyme or reason to them. Just kind of a brief history of my work on ASSIST ME! I'm going to start keeping the blog a little more organized from now on. As I mentioned in my last post, another episode cut from the early draft of season 3 (that had actual work put into it) was the Nemesis tutorial.

I'm sure I did more than one draft of this, but I can only find one copy in my files. Fortunately, it follows the version of the story I last left you with (Doom and Wesker have lost their powers, the villain has made himself known and is now moving to conquer the world since our heroes have been defeated, etc.) Also, Strider has been officially hired by Wesker to beef up the team.

The Nemesis episode began with Max coming down to the garage (Wesker insists everyone call it "the bunker") to find Doom at the weapons table. He practices quick-drawing a German Mauser, which is his traditional sidearm from the comics. Why an all-powerful wizard and master of technology feels the need to use a dated German pistol as his sidearm is beyond me, but ya know. Comics are stupid. There's a bit of a throwback where Max questions his use of pistols (remember Doom once said "guns are for pussies") but without his powers, Doom doesn't really know how to fight.

Just then, the garage door opens. Enter Wesker and Strider, dressed in combat gear and spattered with blood. Behind them, in chains, is Nemesis.

Sup.

Max is, understandably, not for the idea of a seven foot abomination living with them, but Wesker insists that they need extra security on account of their recent nerfing. As Doom attempts to showoff his quickdraw, he accidentally discharges the gun, scaring Nemesis. Doom calls the quickdraw a "stupid cowboy technique" but Wesker tells him to keep practicing, as it might save his life one day. This is what you call foreshadowing, by the way. We then get this exchange, probably one of my favorite Strider moments.

Doom: "Yippie ki-yay. And Strider, since when do you work with Wesker?"

Strider: "He needed my assistance in obtaining the creature."
Wesker: "He's good backup. We call ourselves Team Teleport."
Doom: "That's gay."
Wesker and Strider: "You're gay!"

Max drives the conversation back to the elephant B.O.W. in the room. Wesker wants him to program Nemesis (through UMvC3, obviously) to work as their bodyguard. Max puts his foot down and tells Wesker to take it back. Wesker takes off his shades and:

Wesker: "Take it back? Take it back? What do you think this is, a joke? Some kind of gag? Like, 'oh haha, Wesker brought home a giant monster, classic Wesker!' No. No. The reality of this, Max, the reality of this: this creature set me back two hundred and seventy three million dollars. And the exchange was a sting. Strider and I had to fight off a task force of over 50 BSAA agents trained specifically to take me down. And you left no gas in the tank, so we had to wait in line and fill up in the middle of a massive firefight while transporting a multi-million dollar piece of bio-organic weaponry. And you want me to take it back? ...I have never felt so unappreciated. I’m hurt. Honest. There might be tears."

For your consideration.

Max submits, takes Nemesis by the chains and drags him up to the living room. Doom goes with. As Max sets an arcade stick on Nemesis' lap, the beast growls angrily at him. Doom swats him on the nose, and Nemesis recoils like a bad dog. And the tutorial begins.

When we come back to the scene, Nemesis is sniffing the arcade stick. An irritated Max slams it back down to his lap. Nemesis roars in frustration. Doom just goes "Dude, that thing is going to bite the shit out of you." They're interrupted when Ammy runs downstairs. Max tries to stop her, but she jumps into Nemesis' lap. He picks her up, lifts her to his mouth, and... starts cuddling her. Max is confused, but Doom realizes Nemesis is secretly a big softy. He scratches Nemesis behind the ear - or I guess, where his ear would be, if he had any - and Nemesis stamps his foot repeatedly. A happy Nemesis drools all over the dog. Disgusted, Max carries Ammy to the garage where Wesker and Strider are going over some mission documents.

Max charges the guys with cleaning up the dog since they brought Nemesis to the house, and heads back upstairs. We later see a scene where Wesker and Strider bathe Ammy in the bathtub, and get drunk off a bottle of whiskey. They get curious as to what's going on downstairs, and as they take a peek we're treated to yet another Disney parody, this time to Beauty and the Beast. Doom has nearly set up a dinner table for himself and Nemesis. Doom tries to teach Nemesis how to use the eating utensils. I'll just post the lyrics for you guys.

Doom

"They say you're mean;

And quite malign;

Some say you’re scary, Doom thinks that’s just your design;

A little love, that is your cure;

Doom wonders why nobody tried this way before."

Nemesis attempts to use the proper utensils and only knocks food over, making a mess. He starts to rage and pound the table, but Doom calms him with a reassuring pat on the shoulder. Max steps in.

Max

"Doom, he's a beast;

He's eight feel tall;

He’s gonna snap, I know it, then he’ll kill us all;

What is my life? Just one big chore;

(Max suddenly becomes distracted and walks off in thought.)

I wonder if Capcom will make a Marvel Four?"

Doom

"Though his look is alarming;

And he’s chased us since Resident Evil 3;

He may be no Prince Charming;

But there’s something in him that we simply didn’t see."

At this point, Wesker, Strider and X-23 (I inserted her for the lols, she's not dating Doom yet in this version of the plot) poke their heads in from upstairs.

Wesker

"Well look at that."

X-23

"It's quite a sight."

Strider

"What do you know?"

X-23

"Well what indeed?"

Wesker

"Well who’d have guessed Doom would correct him on his own?"

X-23

"There may be hope, just wait and see."

Wesker and Strider

"We’ll wait and see..."

Wesker, Strider and X-23

"A few days more;

There may be something there that wasn't there before."

At this point, Wesker and Strider look at X-23 in confusion and she gives them the biggest shit-eating grin Tess could muster. After the song, Doom tries to teach Nemesis how to bake cookies. As Nemesis stares blankly at the bowl of cookie dough, Doom says "We can make whatever shapes you want, like balloons, and horseshoes, and stars, and--" Nemesis roars "STAAAAARRRSSSS" and bashes the bowl of cookie dough. Doom tells Max to never say the "s-word". He then runs upstairs. Max sits back down with Nemesis to continue the tutorial.

Somehow I thought I could get away with two parody scenes in one episode, because the next scene is Wesker and Strider getting good and drunk while bathing Ammy and singing the drinking song from Shanghai Noon. Like, the whole song. I don't know what I was thinking. This probably isn't the final draft though. The best thing (IMO) out of this scene is that near the end, a drunk Wesker and Strider get all philosophical (it should be noted they're now sitting in the bathtub with Ammy - clothed though, don't make it weird):

Wesker: "I am so lost here, Hiryu. I don’t even know if I’m walking the right path anymore... I’m a terrible villain."

Strider: "No, you're a good villain!"

Wesker: "Please, I'm a screw up."

Strider: "No - I’m screw up. I can’t even get Legion to work properly, and I don’t even want to talk about

Ouroboros. You’re good, I’ve seen you! (Makes firing gestures with his fingers and "pow pow" noises).

Wesker: "The only thing I'm good at it being a deadbeat father."

Strider grins like an idiot behind his mask and puts a hand on Wesker's shoulder.

Strider: "It's true."

After the last tutorial sequence, Max gives Nemesis some basic commands (sit, stand, etc.) which he follows perfectly. Max announced that he's got Nemesis under control, just as Doom comes barging downstairs with a giant sci-fi gun. He (of course) ignores Max's protests, points his "Latverian-made cross-verse TV reatomizer" at the television and fires a blue beam of light into it. After a flash of energy, STARS Jill appears before them. She hugs Doom, celebrating her release.

Jill: "Victor, you finally got me out! (A beat as she clutches her neck.) Is that... my voice?"

Looking down, she sees her STARS uniform.

Jill: "This isn't right..."
Doom: "You look like Jill to me!"

Jill: "But I'm ten years younger than I was when you sent me in! (She grabs her butt.) My ass! My ass is gone!"

Doom: (Hefts his scifi gun.) "Doom would like to take this chance to admit he's not sure how this thing works."

Just then, Nemesis stands up behind Doom and Max, and notices Jill. Jill screams, runs for the door, and Nemesis clobbers the shit out of the guys to chase her. Max leaps onto his back to allow Jill a few seconds to escape. Wesker and Strider, now back in the garage, hear the commotion upstairs.

Strider: "Should we go up there?"
Wesker: "No, I'm sure it'll work itself out."

Roll credits over footage of Nemesis chasing Jill through LA.

This episode, I loved, even though it still needed some polishing. To my recollection, Max liked it but it was one we cut from season 3 ultimately because the Nemesis costume would have been too expensive to make look good. We did have an actor lined up, and he's 6'5" so in the costume he would have towered over even Max, but alas - no dice.

Overall it didn't push the plot forward very much. It did help to establish that Wesker was turning his view of the world around, and regretting his villainous past, and that the goodguys were at least taking some action to get back at the badguys. After the serious ending of the Wolverine episode and the Strider episode, I felt we needed some raw comedy though, and that's what I aimed for with this script.

There's one more short film that was entirely cut from the season, which I'll cover in my next update. As I mentioned before, there were originally three short films. The first was an episode about Wesker's nightmare, and his reactions to it. Ultimately that got cut and pasted into the Wolverine script, and eventually the concept of his nightmare was re-written and worked into the short Shadows of the Past, which you'll actually see in season 3, after the Morrigan episode. The second was the Strider episode, detailed in my last post. The third was to take place after X-23 had joined the lineup (the whole bit where she goes on a date with Doom was still part of the story, it just got shuffled around a bit when we planned out season 3.)

So next time, I'll talk about that short film. See you soon!